God thought that since
he couldn’t b everywhere
he made a mother.

Then devil thought that
he couldn’t be everywhere
he made a mother-in-law.


I have lots of jokes in my inbox,
But I can’t send you all of them,
It will take a lot of time,
So I’m sending you just 1 joke
.
.
.
“You are so beautiful”


Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?

Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
&
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR


A ship was sinking.
Captain: Does any one know how to pray?
A priest comes forward and says he can pray.
Captain: Ok priest, you pray;
Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket
as we are one jacket short.


2 men were searching for their lost wife in a festival.
Banta: What does your wife look like?
Santa: She is 5′7″, 36-24-36 sexy figure,
fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair, and yours?

Banta: Forget mine, let us look for yours.


Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.

Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?


TERROR JOKE -
What will happen
if u throw an AMPLIFIER into the sea?
TSUNAMI will be created
since an amplifier converts
small waves into bigger wave.


Life is nothing without LOVE,
Love is emotion & Kiss is practical,
don’t get emotional, yar just b practical
So STOP loving and START Kissing.


5 points that prove you are a normal student

1:unnecessary talk on phone and messages
2:Plan each day to study but end of the day KAL SAY PAKA
3:you have all the data but you work before the dead line
4:right now you are thinking of forwarding this message to your friends
5:on each point you smile because it’s true.


When I open my eyes every morning
I pray to God that everyone should
have a friend like you….
Why should only i suffer!!! ha ha ha


Hi i am marrying next week
there will be a small party and
only few persons will be invited
Hey don’t bring any gift
just bring SOMEONE to marry me.


Sardar: Will U marry , after I die.
Wife : No I will live with my sister.

Wife : Will U marry , after I die.
Sardar: No I will also live with ur sister.


Future plans of childrens:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Adnan: I want 2 b a pilot.
Wakeel: I want 2 b a doctor.
Bina: I want 2 b a good mother.
Shariq : I want 2 help Bina.


A man was telling his neighbor,
“I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars,
but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”

“Really,” answered the neighbor .
“What kind is it?”
MAN:“Twelve thirty.”


I always think about U.
I can’t live without U.
I really need U.
I’m totally mad about U.
I just wanna be with U.
I’m very desperate for U.
I’m crazy 4 U.
I wanna marry U.
I LOVE U.
That’s all what my mama say to me:p


If:-
R u emotionally dumbed
Creatively challenged?
Artistically void?
Socially hopeless?
And financially desperate?

Congrats you are a
PAKISTANI!


Choose four

Select three

Love two

And

Marry one


On Ur Single Smile Thousands People Die So

Keep Smiling n

Reduce Population Of PAKISTAN

But.

Never Smile In Front Of Da Mirror

Warna

Lene K Dene Par Jayen Gay.




Aik Pagal: “Mujhe Katrina ne shadi k lye haan bol di hai”

Doosra: “Dikha di na usne apni auqat.
Main bhi itni asani se tallaaq nahi dunga.”


a girl’s speaking 2 a boy……..
u r very handsome.
u r very cute.
u r very sweet.
ooph…….sorry.
i can’t call u sweet….
because ants will finish u.


Teacher : U failure !
At ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir,
but at ur age hitler commited suicide


*Love b4 Marriage*
Janu…tum nahe to mei nahe,
mei nahe to tum nahe…

*Love after Marriage*
“baghairta”…Aj tu nahe ya me nahe


U are a BITCH

Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Cute
Hilarious

r u smiling now?
?
?
?
*YOU ARE REALLY BITCH*


UNIVERSAL TRUTH :

When girls wear tight fittings,
Neither they are
Comfortable

Nor

Boys are comfortable…. !!


In our life time
6 things can come at any time:
1.love
2.friendship
3.money
4.death
5.illness
-
-
-
6.susu: isliye karke sona .


What was GOD’s First Reaction
when he made a Negro(African)?

Socho…

Dont know..

Oh! shit jal gaya!!


Girlfriend:It’s 2 tight
Boyfriend:Don’t worry,I’ll put it slowly,

Girlfriend:Push it in,
Boyfriend:Ah..I can’t,

Girlfriend:It’s painful,
Boyfriend:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!


Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.


An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!


Can we do romance in the midnight today?
I’m in a good mood:)
Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
Reply me soon,
yours Loving Mosquito.


Dabbay main dabba dabay main khargosh,
Uncle nay aankh mari aunty bay-hosh…;):D:D


Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?

Shopkeeper: How about this card,
it says,”To the only boy I ever loved!”

Gal: Great! I want 10 of them


Y do couples hold hands during their wedding?

It’s a formality just like two boxers
shaking hands before the fight begins!


How will a rat purpose a cat…??
?
..??
?
“Billo Rani Kaho Tou Abhi Jaan De Doon..
O Billo Rani..!!;-)


when sum1 touches u
&
u don’t feel it,
its IGNORANCE.

When sum1 touches u
&
u feel it, its LOVE.

but when nobody touches
u but u feel it, then its KHUJLI;-)


Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?

Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.


Positive-thinking poem:

Little bird in the sky
Droping shit into ur eye

U don’t worry u don’t cry,
U just thank God that,

Cows do not fly

Always b positive


Moral of the movie Ghajini…

Whenever going to meet your girlfriend
Make sure u have your cell phone..
n
when u r in deep trouble
keep your cell phone silent…


Can u dance?
?
?
?
No!
.
.
.
Sure
.
.
.
Just try it
.
.
.
Sure u cant
.
.
.
That means u r pappu!!!
.
.
.
Because pappu cant dance ..


2009 is coming

Wish u a very
Happy new year
Valentine’s day
Basant
23rd march
14 august
Eid ul fitr
Eid ul azha
Friendship day
Mother, father
Dadi, dada
Nana, nani
Children’s day
Happy b’day
365 good mornings
After noons, evenings’
& nights

Roz roz ka drama nahi
Hota mujh se
Ab pura saal mat kehna
SMS nahi kia


Teacher: How Do You Differentiate
“WIFE” & “MOTHER”

SARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With “MOTHER”
&
After Marriage
We Sleep With Our “WIFE”


Sumeone Kills AMIR’S GF
& He Loses His Memory.
Than He Tries To Find out D Killer.
Suspense:AMIR Himself Is D Killer.
Now Enjoy Watchng GHAJINI


Teacher: what is meant by
“I MISS YOU”
.
.
.
.
Pathan: Is ka matlab hai
“Mein tumhari miss hon!”


When a girl falls down
She is helped by so
Many people
But
When a boy falls down
Everybody laughs

When a girl licks
Her lips
She is thirsty
When boy licks
His lips
He is tharki

When a girl smiles
She is considered cute
When a boy smiles
He is flirt

Still people say
This is men’s world


Judge: why r u arrested?
Sardar: for shopping early?
Judge: well, that’s not a crime,
anyway how early were u shopping?

Sardar: before opening the shop…..:p


Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!


1sr yr: yahoo i’m in Medical college
2nd yr: kahan phans Gaya? Help me
3rd yd: severe Migraine, sometimes Pagalpan bhi
4th yr: aah soon it’ll b over
5th yr: finaly it’ll b over

House job: i did it
Job : i love myself

W8 a min !
Something is missing
.
.
.
.
Ohhh !!! Meri “jawani”:(


If u have 1 father, call me.
If u have 2 fathers, sms me.
If u have 3 fathers, miss call me.
If i m your father, just ignore this message.


Commerce professor asks the student:
what is the most important source
of finance for starting business?

Student: “Father in law”.


Son: Mom, when I was on the bus
with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.


I just feel u….

Whenever I feel u….
I just miss u …..
Whenever i miss u ….
I just wanna See u ….
Do u know why…….

It’s juts because …………

******I LOVE CARTOONS*******


A Solid reason for having 2 girlfriends at one time:
Monopoly is always damaging
&
Competition improves service!


Send me SMS on these time

Morning
6am To 12pm

Noon
12pm To 4pm

Evening
4pm To 8pm

Night
8pm To 6am

Baki Time Tang Mat Karna
Kam Karna Hota Hai


Who let you get on the horse
You witch’s child?
.
.
.
.
Can’t understand?
.
.
.
.
.
Tenu ghori kinnay charhaya bhootni k…:p:d


Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
So what do the rest have?
.
.
.
.
.
They have girl friends:p